50 Questions to Help You Start Writing Your Memoir

Most people who want to write a memoir don't get stuck because they have nothing to say. They get stuck because they have too much to say and no idea where to begin.

If that's you, you're not behind or disorganized. You're just a person with a full life trying to figure out how to fit it into a book, which is a genuinely hard thing to do!

These 50 questions are designed to help you start excavating. Not every question will apply to your story. Some will stop you cold.Others you'll skim past. That's fine. The goal isn't to answer all 50. It's to find the ones that make you think, Oh, that's something.

Let's get into it.

Who You Were: Identity & Origin

Before you can write about what happened, it helps to understand who you were when it happened.

These questions dig into the version of you that existed before everything changed (or before you knew it needed to).

1. What's the earliest memory you have that still feels significant today?

2. What did you believe about yourself as a child that turned out to be wrong?

3. What did you believe about yourself as a child that turned out to be exactly right?

4. What was the one rule in your household that nobody ever said out loud but everyone followed?

5. Who did people think you were growing up, and how close were they?

6. What were you most afraid of before the age of 12?

7. What did you want to be when you grew up, and what did that say about what you actually needed?

8. What's the thing about your childhood home you can still picture perfectly?

9. Who were you before the thing happened that this memoir is really about?

10. What part of your younger self do you miss?

The People Who Shaped You: Relationships

Memoir is never really just about you. It's about you in relation to other people—the ones who built you up, the ones who let you down, and the complicated ones who did both.

11. Who is the person in your life you've never been able to fully explain to someone else?

12. What's the relationship in your life that changed you the most, and does that person know it?

13. Who did you love that you never told?

14. Who hurt you that probably doesn't know the extent of it?

15. What's the conversation you wish you'd had with someone who's no longer here?

16. Who showed up for you in an unexpected way during the hardest part of your story?

17. What relationship in your life looks nothing like it did five years ago?

18. Who are you still trying to understand?

19. What did a parent, mentor, or teacher say to you that you've never forgotten (for better or worse)?

20. Who in your life would be surprised to find themselves in your memoir?

Not sure how all these people and moments fit together into an actual structure? That's exactly what the Book Outlines Made Simple workshop walks you through. It's currently on sale for $17 (reg. $47), and it will help you take everything that feels like a pile of memories and turn it into a book that actually makes sense. Get instant access right here.

The Moments That Mattered: Turning Points

Every memoir has a spine: a series of moments where something shifted. These questions help you find yours.

21. What's the moment your life divided into "before" and "after?"

22. What decision do you look back on as the one that changed everything?

23. What did you almost do that you didn't, and what would your life look like if you had?

24. What was the hardest day of your life, and what got you through it?

25. When did you first realize that the life you were living wasn't the one you actually wanted?

26. What's the moment you're most proud of that nobody witnessed?

27. What's the moment you're least proud of that you've never told anyone?

28. When did you first feel like an adult?

29. What experience forced you to ask for help when you never would have otherwise?

30. What's the turning point in your story that you're most nervous to write about?

That last one is worth sitting with. Because in my experience, the thing authors are most nervous to write about is almost always the thing the reader most needs to read.

What You Believed: Values, Faith & Worldview

The most resonant memoirs aren't just about what happened. They're about what the author believed going in, and how those beliefs got tested, shattered, or deepened on the other side.

31. What did you used to believe about the world that you no longer believe?

32. What do you believe now that you couldn't have arrived at any other way?

33. What was your relationship with faith, religion, or spirituality during the period you're writing about?

34. What value did you inherit from your family that you've had to examine as an adult?

35. What did you think "success" meant before your story happened, and what does it mean now?

36. What did you learn about people during your hardest season?

37. What did you learn about yourself that surprised you?

38. What belief got you through something that you've since let go of?

39. What do you know now that you wish you could go back and tell yourself?

40. What truth does your story hold that you think more people need to hear?

If you've been sitting on your memoir because you don't know how to organize all of this into something coherent, the Can't Stop Writing Formula is a free resource that will help you create momentum and structure without the overwhelm. Download it here—it's free!

The Story Underneath the Story: Themes & Meaning

This is where memoir becomes literature. Not just "here's what happened" but "here's what it meant."

41. What is your memoir actually about, underneath the events?

42. What theme keeps appearing in your life whether you invite it or not?

43. What did you have to lose before you understood what you actually valued?

44. What's the sentence that captures what you want a reader to feel when they finish your book?

45. What would you want someone going through something similar to take away from your story?

46. What part of your story is universal, even if the details are entirely specific to you?

47. What question does your memoir answer, even if you never state it explicitly?

48. Who is the person you most want to read this book, and what do you want them to understand?

49. What would it mean to you to have this book exist in the world?

50. What happens if you don't write it?

That last question isn't rhetorical. The memoir you're thinking about writing exists because you lived something worth sharing. The questions above are just the beginning; they're the excavation before the real work starts.

If you're ready to take what you've just uncovered and turn it into an actual book structure, the Book Outlines Made Simple workshop is the most direct path from "I have all these memories and no idea how to organize them" to "I know exactly what my memoir looks like and I'm ready to write it."

It's on sale right now for $17—that's $30 off the regular price, but it won't stay there long.

Yes, I'm ready to outline my memoir — take me to the workshop.

And if you're ready to go further—to actually draft the whole thing—the 33-Day Book Writing Bootcamp gives you the full structure, the daily prompts, and the accountability to get from page one to a complete first draft in 33 days.

For just $97, it's the most direct route from "I want to write this" to "I wrote this."

Tell me more about the 33-Day Book Writing Bootcamp.

Whichever step feels right, just take it. The memoir isn't going to write itself. But with the right structure, it's a lot less scary than you think!